


Optics

by thegirl20



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/F, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-02
Updated: 2013-02-02
Packaged: 2017-11-27 21:39:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/666777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirl20/pseuds/thegirl20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The detectives have fun with Alex's glasses.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Optics

“No Elliot, I don’t care if you walked in on the guy having sex with the victim while simultaneously plunging the murder weapon into her chest or that they found his DNA on the victim, in the victim and all over her apartment, or that he signed a full and frank confession, I can’t go in front of a jury just with that! I need at least sixteen corroborating witnesses and five people who say that he tried the same MO on them at some point in the recent past.”  
  
Elliot and Fin were doubled over with laughter at Munch’s spookily accurate impersonation of their beloved ADA, who just happened to have left her glasses lying in on Olivia’s desk. Olivia, for her part, was trying very hard not to laugh along. So far, her attempts had not been successful.  
  
“Yep, that proves my theory,” Munch said, removing Alex’s glasses and replacing his own.  
  
“Which theory is that, Munch? That you’ve completely lost it?” Olivia asked, wryly.  
  
“No,” Munch said, “that it’s the glasses.”  
  
Elliot wiped tears from his eyes as he asked the obvious question. “The glasses?”  
  
“Yes.” Munch replied. “For a while now I’ve suspected that Alex’s glasses were actually top secret government issue spectacles which enabled the wearer to see the holes in cases not normally visible to the mere mortal, or detective. And I was right, it’s amazing!”  
  
“Nah, that’s not why she wears ‘em!” Fin interjected.   
  
He took the glasses from Munch’s hand and put them on. Then he put his hands behind his back and turned to face his colleagues, a stern expression in place.  
  
“She wears ‘em cuz they make her look all smart and intimidatin’. I see the ways juries look at her, she scares ‘em shitless. She could be talkin’ utter bullshit in her closin’ arguments, don’t matter, all jury’s thinkin’ is ‘Damn, girl is smart, better just go along with what she’s tellin’ us’.”  
  
Elliot was gone again, laughing helplessly. Olivia just shook her head.  
  
“Sorry Fin, I missed what you were saying. All I could think about was how smart and intimidating you looked.” Munch said, sardonically.  
  
“Thank you my friend.”  
  
Elliot was recovering and shaking his head, reaching out for the glasses which Fin handed over.  
  
“You’re both talkin’ shit! She wears the glasses because she knows that Olivia’ll do whatever she asks when she’s got ‘em on.”  
  
Everyone laughed. Then Olivia realised what he’d said.  
  
“What? I do not!”  
  
Her denial was met with a series of ‘Yeah right’ expressions. Elliot slipped the glasses on and turned to Munch, perching on the edge of his desk and crossing his legs.  
  
“Hello Detective Benson,” he began, lowering his voice in a parody of Alex’s unique tones, “I wondered if you could interview the whole of Staten Island before lunchtime to see if anyone there has ever seen the suspect, I know he doesn’t live there but I heard he visited once. Then, when you’re done with that I’d like you personally to go over the files for all of the cases we’ve tried since I started with SVU and extract any instances of people calling me a bitch, I’m compiling some stats. Then after that you can head to my apartment and wait for me there, naked, and order Chinese food.” Elliot paused and pushed the glasses further up his nose. “Do you think you could do that for me?”  
  
Munch was nodding his head, practically drooling. Olivia was not amused.  
  
“That was nothing like her. And I don’t do her bidding because she wears those glasses.”  
  
“Yeah, Liv, you do.” Fin said, shrugging apologetically when Olivia rounded on him.  
  
“Yep, she bats her eyes through those glasses and you’re gone, Benson.” Munch agreed.  
  
“Does she wear ‘em in bed, Liv?” Elliot asked, jumping out of reach when Olivia swung at him.  
  
“She’s blushing! She obviously does wear them in bed!” Munch was delighted by this piece of information.  
  
“You’re all full of shit.” Olivia muttered, picking up a file and flicking through it, turning the pages with a bit more force than necessary.  
  
“Awwww, we’re just foolin’ with you, Liv.” Elliot said, approaching his partner and holding out the glasses. “C’mon, it’s your turn. You probably do Alex better than us.”  
  
Munch was about to make a comment about ‘doing Alex’ but was silenced by Olivia’s warning glare. She regarded the offered glasses for a moment. A smile crept over her lips. They wanted to tease her? Well, she had plenty to tease them with, show them exactly what they’d never experience. She took the glasses from Elliot and slipped them on. She stood slowly and came around to sit on the edge of her desk, her feet planted on the floor, hands gripping the desk. She closed her eyes.  
  
“Oh…God, Liv…yeah…uh huh, right there…”   
  
She threw her head back.  
  
“That’s it baby, c’mon…uh huh…harder…faster…yeah…I’m gonna…oh, oh…Liv!”  
  
The last word was high pitched and followed by a long sigh. Olivia’s eyes remained closed and she noticed that the room was strangely silent. There could be two reasons for that; either the guys had passed out from shock or, well, she really didn’t want to consider the alternative. And she had a sneaking suspicion that the alternative was probably the most likely.  
  
She cracked open one eye. Yep, the guys were still conscious, all of them seemed to be engrossed in paperwork that had appeared from nowhere. And Alex was standing in front of her, arms crossed, looking mighty pissed. Olivia cringed under the hard stare.  
  
“Uh…hey sweetie, what are you doing here?”  
  
Alex raised an eyebrow at the term of endearment and Olivia knew she was in for a lot of grovelling.  
  
“I left my glasses here, I came by to collect them. I didn’t expect an impromptu sex show.”  
  
“Yeah…we…uh…I mean…the guys were…and I…was just…”  
  
Olivia looked around for help, but her colleagues studiously avoided eye-contact. Alex shook her head and held out her hand, wordlessly. Olivia’s shoulders slumped as she handed over the glasses. Alex put them on and turned to leave. She stopped at the door and turned back.  
  
“I’d keep that performance in your head, Detective. It’s the closest you’ll get to hearing it for a while.”  
  
Then she was gone. Elliot turned to Olivia.  
  
“Jeez, Liv, I’m sorry. Did we get you relegated to the couch?”  
  
But Olivia was bustling around, picking up her keys and her badge. She dismissed Elliot’s apology with an absent-minded wave of her hand.  
  
“Nah, she talks a good game, but she’s got her own little weakness.”  
  
Olivia grabbed her leather jacket from the back of her chair and held it up for emphasis.  
  
“Can’t resist me in this.”   
  
Olivia grinned as she shrugged into the jacket, its soft folds moulding around her body. She headed to the door, each of the watching detectives noting that she had added a certain swagger to her walk.  
  
“Hey, Alex! Wait up!”


End file.
